Here’s a short list of some healthy behaviors, traits and habits I’ve noticed in some of my favorite people in the world.
Those are traits I personally try to gravitate towards in order to build healthy relationships.
- They avoid criticism at all costs
Criticism shows a lack of understanding and empathy towards others. The less critical you are towards others, the better.
Slander is also a major sin in my religion.
Slander and backbiting are considered “destructive” major sins.
These two sins are forbidden by God because they sow enmity, evil and discord among people and lead to destruction.
Slander, like overt criticism, are a sign that you want to show superiority, which in turn shows a lack of confidence and is ultimately a sign of weakness.
People ain’t all that different, we just choose our differences, so please refrain from being cheaply critical and just accept others as they are.
- OCEAN is the acronym
OCEAN are the “Big Five” personality traits developed in psychological trait theory. They’re a great way to assess oneself.
O for Openness. Being open to new things, new ideas, change and being curious are all great signs of a great personality.
For instance, if someone tells you about a positive thing in their life, try to dig deeper, be happy for them.
Showing real, genuine interest in what others tell you is a sign of goodness, and happiness.
C for Conscientiousness: be conscientious is one of the noblest traits.
Knowing how to act and react accordingly in difficult situations, being aware of your surroundings, treating others with respect are all signs of a conscientious person.
Don’t be so quick to judge and just let others the benefit of the doubt, learn how to trust.
E for Extroversion: try being extroverted, not in a “party-going” way, but rather in a “be curious about others, ask how they are” way.
Don’t interrupt when others talk to you, show genuine interest in their feelings and wellbeing and treat them with love.
A for Agreeableness: being agreeable should be the easiest thing when you’re surrounded by the right people. Your friends need to challenge you on certain things, but not on everything.
“A person with a high level of agreeableness in a personality test is usually warm, friendly, and tactful.” So be warm, make people feel at ease, heard.
N for Neuroticism (it’s not what you think): this trait is about people who are emotionally stable, who deal well with stress pretty well, who don’t worry much (know how to let go of grudges) and are generally very chill and laid-back.
The kind of person who avoids conflict and troubles at all costs, my type of people.
Let’s move on to some other traits healthy people have in common:
- They don’t think about their needs only (considerate?)
One of my favorite thing about some people is their ability to put others before themselves.
I’ve had friends who were exactly that. They always serve others before they serve themselves, they’re the carers of the group, which usually brings the group together.
Carers are my personal favorite people !
Showing that you care about people other than yourself is such an attractive trait. It shows empathy and an acute sense of humanity.
- They avoid hijacking conversations
Everything isn’t always about you, let others be, express themselves.
Make them feel comfortable enough to open up to you. Avoid hijacking conversations with sentences like “this reminds me of something I went through”. NO. It’s not about u, it’s about them !
- They own up to your failures and mistakes
It takes courage to take responsibility, to show that you understand your mistakes and that you’re willing to do better
Say that you blew it when you feel like you did. I know it shows vulnerability but that’s what healthy people say and do
- They allow nuance in life
Things shouldn’t always be how YOU want them to be, focus on yourself and hope others do their best as well
- They never shame, never blame, and don’t have an agenda
If you disagree with someone, do it in a civil and respectful manner. Things can’t always go your way and that’s ok, let it go, just make sure you do your best in every situation, and don’t beat yourself up when you can’t
- They have an acute sense of teamwork
Teamwork makes the dream work.
Always try to work things out with the person in front of you, personally and professionally.
- They don’t mind sharing the negatives of their personal and professional endeavors
Talking about the negatives of your life allows a sense of intimacy to others, which is the opposite of control.
This intimacy exposes you and will eventually make you feel vulnerable, which is bound to get you out of your comfort zone and help you grow. Let yourself get into that new, unexplored zone
- They’re patient
Impatience is a big red flag when it comes to narcissism.
Impatience show that you can’t slow down to care about someone other than yourself, and that you’re too spoiled to realize you can’t always have it your way.
Impatience manifests itself in different forms, some people throw tantrums while others will just shut themselves out. Learn how to deal with your emotions and be an open book.
Learning how to be patient is an important aspect of a good life
- They listen
Take time to reflect and learn how listen. It’s no wonder God gave us 2 ears and only 1 mouth.
We learn more by listening and observing others, so try to be more present and listen. Active and intentional listening is the cornerstone of good communicators and healthy relationships.
Careful listeners are usually more open and compassionate.
- They know other people aren’t just as good as their last good deed
Avoid being harsh and too quick to judge.
Avoid holding grudges and let others prove you wrong.